Geeky Yet Waterproof

Thursday was my last day in Brazil. When I first had first arrived, my two suitcases were full of Christmas presents for everyone, and I hardly had any clothes!
So now when I was getting ready to leave, I packed up all my clothes in about 30 seconds, having one full suitcase completely empty afterwards. I thought I was done, until I went into the living room and saw them wrapping Christmas presents for me to deliver in the Estados Unidos… and the presents kept piling up, and piling up, until we had to rearrange all my clothes and fill the other suitcase to fit everything.
When finally everything was packed, we went to the grocery store and the mall to buy chocolate to make Brigadeiro, a mission at which we failed and ended up buying chocolate for immediate consumption (not to mention more Christmas presents).
In the evening, Iza’s godmother came over and we had a last dinner, before leaving for the airport at about 8:30pm for my midnight flight home.
As of Friday, I’m back in the United States after one amazing trip.

On Tuesday we got up early to pack our bags, and drove back to São Paulo. In the evening, we went to the mall to do some “last” Christmas shopping.

The next day after going to the bank and putting my Starbucks card in the ATM (don’t ask), we went to what Iza called “the worst place in São Paulo”. It’s a place with lots of shops and street vendors, but almost everything being sold is illegal. She said that if she tells me to run, just run… Because every once in a while they have police raids, where the police come and sweep through the streets, confiscating all the illegal goods! She said that just the last time they were there, this happened and everyone had to run away!
When we got there, one of the first things we saw were two stores where EVERYTHING inside is illegal. In fact, Iza said that the owner of one of them is currently in jail.
We walked down the street for a while, going into shops to do January 7th Christmas Shopping. We saw a lot of Carnaval stuff, some of which we both tried on (don’t ask).
After a while, it got terribly hot so we hastened to the Municipal, which is basically a huge building full of food. Here we ate Mortadela, which is a kind of meat but in a Brazilian style sandwich.
That night, I went out with Iza, Cintia, and Cassio and afterwards we went to a little restaurant and had the biggest freaking hot dogs I’ve ever seen. I think there were four dogs inside the bun, and it was all sealed closed with grilled cheese… but it was delicious!

Rua 25 de Março

Rua 25 de Março

Mortadela at Municipal

The Hot Dog

Almost every day since I arrived in Brazil, my family has been asking if I ate feijoada yet. Feijoada literally means “beaned”, and it is a classic Brazilian dish consisting mostly of black beans, rice, and different parts of pork. For a while Iza and her family wouldn’t let me try feijoada because they said that I have to “return all in one piece”. You see, feijoada sits very heavily in your stomach… in fact, you’re not even supposed to drink anything while eating it, because it will make it harder to digest.
Well on Monday, I finally got to try feijoada. And much to their admonitions, I had four plates of it with five glasses of Coke over lunch and dinner. And I’m alive and well! Iza freaked a little bit when she was digging through the pot and found an entire ear and a foot with toes, but other than that I thought it was pretty good. But I can see why Brazilians normally only eat it on Saturdays… Unless your stomach is reinforced with iron brackets, you can’t really do anything but lie around after eating feijoada.

On Sunday we mostly just relaxed at the beach apartment. In the morning we listened to a bunch of old LPs that Zi was digging out (mostly Roberto Carlos, with some Michael Jackson thrown in). In the afternoon we went to the mall for lunch and January Christmas shopping. There outside, we saw a long fence completely lined with overlapping bikes on both sides. Mounted on the fence was a sign that read, “É PROIBIDO ESTACIONAR BICICLETAS”. Translation: “PARKING BICYCLES IS PROHIBITED”.
I think we spent several hours at the mall, before going back to the feirinha (little market) by the beach to do more January Christmas shopping. There, we saw another interesting warning sign, the translation of which reads:

WE DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ACTIONS OF THE WEATHER

Later that night, Cassio came up to me and presented me with a nicely wrapped box, saying in accented English, “This is a gift for you from the family.” I started opening it, then noticed everyone was watching me grinning. Uh oh… I proceeded with caution, and took off the lid. Inside was a long, thick object wrapped in newspaper, so I took off the first layer of newspaper. I took off the second layer of newspaper. I took off the third layer of news paper.
…
I took off the seventh layer of newspaper, and inside was a toothbrush. Ever since I arrived, they had all been laughing at my current toothbrush because it was so destroyed, so I guess they finally had pity on me and decided to fix my problem.

Saturday was the much anticipated Ivete Sangalo concert. As I mentioned before, Ivete is one of the most popular singers here in Brazil, and her concerts are huge. This one was to take place in a soccer stadium by the beach, in a city called Guarujá.
In the car were Iza, Cintia, Pamela (their cousin), Cassio, and me. It took us two hours to get to Guarujá, and we had to cross a ferry boat (or “balsa”). The concert was supposed to start at 7pm and we arrived about half an hour later, but the first three hours(!!) were just the opening band, with the real concert scheduled to start at around 10pm or so.
We hung around partying in the parking lot for a long time, just like everyone else there. (Was anybody actually watching the opening band?) Somebody’s car in the middle of the parking lot even had the rear open playing loud Ivete music the whole time. Everyone was really excited!
Eventually it started raining, and as the minutes went by the rain fell harder and harder. After about 20 minutes, it was no longer rain. It was a shower with the faucet turned on all the way. Soon, the wind picked up too, and it was a full-out Brazilian rainstorm.
Finally at about 10:30pm, we started heading over to the stadium to go in. There was a male and female line to get our tickets checked, so Cassio and I had to split up from the rest to go to our line… but it wasn’t a line. It was a mob. It was a bacterial culture. It was a roaring ocean tide. Several times everybody almost fell over on each other because it was like an augmented form of dominoes! I hung onto the rail along with three other people, and not only did my arm almost get torn off, but the rail started falling over, and would have done so if the cops hadn’t been constantly beating people back. Cassio warned me that sometimes they have to use pepper spray when it gets “really” bad, so be careful.
When we finally got in, it was a war zone. The stands had already collapsed and the stage was falling apart… canopies where flying everywhere like sails, and we were ready to run, should the whole structure start to fall. (Later we saw on the news that the winds were up to 100kph.)
I had never seen anything like this! It was all chaos, and it was… fun! Everyone was completely soaked through and through, and it was freezing with the wind… and it was awesomeness.
But then we found out that they had cancelled the show! Nooo! After all that! There was no way it would have been able to go on however, without having to take Ivete to the hospital afterwards for being blown off the stage or something.
Nobody wanted to leave yet, so we stayed for a little while, huddling around trying to keep warm and chanting with everyone else, “Ero ero ero! Eu quero meu dinheiro!”, before heading back.
On the drive home, there was a lot of traffic very similar to the “line” to get into the stadium, because suddenly all these people were driving home at once. There was even a guy lying in the middle of the road who fell off his motorcycle, with paramedics standing around him!
By the time we got back, it was 3am… and the concert hadn’t even happened! But even though we didn’t get to see Ivete, we still had fun partying, fighting, and almost drowning.

On Friday we made a second attempt to drive to the waterfall which we failed to reach the other day because of the bridge. Again we failed, again because of the bridge, which again had broken. So instead, we made reservations to go canoeing in the river for three hours that afternoon.
After we had lunch and poked around some shops (one of which had three crabs hanging outside on a string, with one still alive), we headed over to the river which was nearby. There were four canoes in the water, because some other people were doing the same as us, along with a (very high-strung) guide. There were two or three people to each boat, and in our boat were Zi, Iza, and me in the middle taking pictures instead of helping to paddle.
Within the first minute after we embarked, we crashed into some trees and didn’t know how to get out. It took us several minutes to get unstuck, and the guide had to yell instructions to us from another boat. But we didn’t feel foolish from this for long, after we watched Cintia and Cassio crash over and over again, then try to catch up to the rest of us by putting on extra speed, passing everybody and ending up in front, and then as soon as the next curve would come up… *thwack*.
I was surprised to see that all along the shore on both sides of the river were little red crabs. Most of them were just sitting in the mud, but some were several feet up in trees. No wonder everybody kept running into the banks… they wanted to see the crabs!
And whenever we stopped our paddling and listened, it was never quiet! There was a constant hum of tropical insects and animals, and in some places, the distant sound of live forró music being played.
Eventually we came into a big open area where there were lots of people swimming, and then to a sandy bank on the edge of the open sea. We landed here, and everybody got out to walk around on the sand for about half an hour. Iza and I went swimming, and I made some embarrassing attempts to walk on my hands in the surf before we all reentered our boats and paddled back up the river to where we had started.
After everyone had gotten out of their respective canoes, someone explained to me in labored English how banana trees work. They don’t produce seeds, so while the tree is producing bananas another stock grows up from the base, which eventually becomes the new tree. When the bananas are ripe, somebody comes and cuts off the whole bunch, then cuts down the old stock, which can no longer produce fruit. Now I understand why Iza’s uncle cut down the banana tree after harvesting the bananas…

You’ve probably noticed that as it is now the year 2009, last night was New Year’s Eve. And in this country, people like New Year’s Eve.
I’ve never spent New Year in a hot place before, so this was a new experience. For at least a week, people have been setting off scarily loud fireworks every few minutes 24/7. No matter where they are in this city, you can hear them. When we first got here, I thought there was a rebellion going on and people kept exploding grenades.
Another thing I forgot to mention earlier (which doesn’t have anything to do with the New Year) is that about every 4th car that goes down the street here has a custom ear-blasting speaker system and drives along with the back hatch open and about 3 people hanging off. It’s so loud it can thump your chest from up here on the 2nd floor with the window facing away from the street.

Anyway, back to December 31st. Avó, Zi, and Clovis were making food all day, and by the evening we had more than a table completely full of delicious food… ham, fruit, rice, fruit, salad, fruit, fruit, beans, fruit, pudding, champagne, and fruit. And there was even some fruit.

When all was ready, we had to carry it all up to Iza’s uncle’s apartment on floor 5, where we’d be having dinner after midnight. Once all the food had been delivered (after three trips by six people), we stayed there for a while watching the sea of people from above before going down to the beach. It was insane — the crosswalk directly below looked like Times Square, and there was a group of people dancing in the middle of the street. They were following a car that blasting music and driving about 3mph (it couldn’t go any faster because of all the people). It was just like a parade — an improvised one!
And when we went down to the beach just before midnight, there were at least two million people all dressed in white. There is a tradition here that you have to dress in white on New Year’s Eve for good luck.
When the hour struck, two million people busted open bottles of champagne and exploded off fireworks all at once. (Actually it all happened over the course of about two minutes, because nobody’s clocks were the same.) Cassio aimed his glass champagne cannon right at me, and I took the full blow of it. My white t-shirt was suddenly tie-die!
After we had each drank at least a full bottle (though for the “children” it was non-alcoholic), we all ran over to the ocean for another local custom: everyone had to step in the water and jump seven waves, making a wish with each one. After the seventh, you must run backwards until you’re far from the water, without letting the eight wave touch you. (What happens if the eight wave touches you? Do you die in a fiery ball of flames? I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t risk it…)
After this was completed, we went back to Tio Claudio’s apartment to feast. There is another tradition that you must first eat a plate of seven different grains (rice, lentils, etc.), and only after that can you eat whatever you want. Zi explained this to me in Portuguese, but when she mentioned “sete grãos” (seven grains), I thought she said “sete graus”, (seven degrees) which I took to mean seven courses. You can eat whatever you want after you finish seven courses! Fortunately Iza explained it all to me in English before I erred.
It wasn’t until around 1:45am that we headed back to Iza’s apartment, all of us weighing about 10 pounds heavier.

Obviously, the next day we didn’t get up until around noon, and then we relaxed and digested for most of the day. In the afternoon, Iza, Cintia, Pamela (Iza’s cousin), and I drove 2.5 hours to Guarujá, so we could turn in our tickets for the Ivete Sangalo concert that would take place there on Saturday! (Ivete is sort of like Madonna here in Brazil, at least in terms of popularity). We also had to pick up some bright green shirts which we’d need to get in to the concert — they’re sort of like big, really green tickets. Our task took 10 minutes, and then we drove 2.5 hours back home, excited for the concert.

Today we got up early as planned (9am??) we drove 2.5 hours into the country to a river in the mountains where we could go swimming. We had been aiming for a waterfall a little farther away, but the bridge was broken so we just stopped here.
There were already lots of people swimming in the river, even though it was slightly freezing. Cintia and Zi ordered some drinks and sat at a table while Cassio, Iza, and I got in the water and started swimming/walking/climbing up the river. The water was really strong in some places, and we sat down between rocks so we could feel the current. We eventually got to a big bowl of water where you could actually swim, and we saw people diving in or bombing down the rapids in an inner tube, so we stopped there and swam for a while.
We were too lazy to swim/climb back down the river to get back where we started, so we hiked on the muddy road to where Zi and Cintia were, and there we ate fried fish and drank guaraná soda.
On our way home, we stopped at a beach for ice cream, and then later we stopped at a little restaurant that was basically a canopy perched on a cliff, and ate tapioca.
When we got back to the apartment Iza and I went swimming in the ocean for a while, and later on when it got dark we hung out with two of her friends. It turned out that all of us could play guitar, so we made music on the beach until about 1am before everyone finally went to bed.

Today we got up early, packed our clothes and embarked on a two-hour drive to the beach apartment, where we’ll be staying for the next 10 days. The apartment is away from São Paulo, and it’s right on a beach called Praia Grande — Long Beach.
The beach here is really nice. It’s several miles long and… it’s warm! I know, beaches are usually supposed to be like that, but… it’s warm!! You can swim! In case you didn’t know, in Oregon, beaches weren’t made for swimming. In fact, they weren’t made for taking off your coat. But this is a real beach… a swimming beach.
Soon after we got there, Iza and I went for a bike ride on the beach to see what’s there. We went all the way to the military base at the end, where we decided it would be a good idea to turn around.
Later Cassio and I went upstairs to the game room, where we played fusbol against some other tenants (whom we beat soundly), and then we played ping-pong, or pingue-pongue (at which I beat him 10-6 twice!).
When it got dark, all of us had pizza with Clovis’s family in their apartment, several floors up. We hung around for a while and ate and talked, then Iza, Cintia, Cassio, and I walked down the street to a little restaurant and had açaí. Açaí is a Brazilian dessert kind of like pudding made from fruit, and it usually has pieces of another fruit on top (like banana).
Afterwards we went home and everyone went to bed early (12:30am…) so we could try to get up early for the next day.

Christmas Eve. We woke up to the hottest day so far during my trip. After breakfast we went into town to go Christmas shopping, and we walked down the street where my dad bought his Brazilian guitar 30 years ago.
Later some of Iza’s friends from swimming came over, and we had a huge lunch of turkey, Brazilian rice, and salad. I had three helpings of this because I was advised that we wouldn’t be eating again until after midnight.
In the evening, we went to Iza’s aunt’s house for about half an hour to say hi to everyone and… to eat food. Then, we went to her grandmother’s house for more food and the gift exchange. I also got to meet all of her dad’s family there, which was cool. We all waited in the kitchen until midnight, then blew open the champagne and dug into the food when the hour struck.
After a lot of consumption, we went back to her aunt’s house for — you’ll never guess — MORE FOOD! It was incredible how much I ate that night. I think I’ve never consumed so much food within 24 hours ever in my life… but it sure tasted good!!
When we eventually returned to the apartment, we opened more presents and sat around talking for a while. We also ate some chocolates. It wasn’t until 4am that everybody was finally in bed!

On Christmas Day, I think I need not mention that we all woke up pretty late. We had a relaxing day, and we went out to lunch at a churrascoria (a Brazilian BBQ restaurant) with Clovis’s family. At restaurants like this, you have a little spinner thing on your table, and if you set the spinner to “green”, a constant stream of waiters will be coming by with hunks of meat on a stick, and you cut off however much you want. If, however, you set the spinner to “red”, it means you can’t possibly stuff yourself anymore, and the meat will pass you by.
Afterwards we went to Zi’s family’s house again and had more food, and just hung around for a while. I had a long conversation with one of Iza’s uncles in Portuguese, until he tried to argue politics with me, which I was simply unable to do. It’s hard enough in any language… let alone one I started learning 10 months ago.
When we got home we went around the apartment a little bit to visit some friends, then just relaxed for the rest of the evening so that we could get ready for the next day: the beach.

Me with my Secret Buddy, Iza’s avó

Some of the cousins: Eamon, Iza, The Dude, Cintia, Pamela, Leticia

Iza’s uncle teaching me the polite way to eat farofa

“The bird bites!!”

Viva!!